30 Funny Car Quotes

Funny Car Quotes allows us to rediscover the joy of being behind the wheel. Once we are on the road, the world becomes simple again, or at least appears so. We switch off, forget about our daily problems, catch a fresh breeze and admire the landscape.

But what about when we’re not driving? Here are 30 funny quotes about cars, speed and motor vehicles from hilarious present day comedians and classic gag writers that will make you laugh out loud.

Every quote is categorized into a specific topic and accompanied by an original illustration.

“I spend more time in traffic than a sloth spends hanging from a tree.”

“My car is like my best friend, always there for me and occasionally trying to kill me.”

“The road is a dangerous place, especially when I’m behind the wheel.”

“I’m not a bad driver, I just have a talent for finding hidden obstacles.”

“I don’t need a GPS; I have my own special navigation system called ‘get lost and hope for the best.'”

“If you think I drive too fast, you should see me try to parallel park.”

“I’m not speeding; I’m just participating in an impromptu race against time.”

“I don’t trust gas station sushi, but I’m willing to risk it for a full tank.”

“My car is so old, the airbags have been replaced with dust.”

“Driving behind a slow driver is like watching a snail try to break the land speed record.”

“My car’s radio is permanently stuck on a station that plays the Macarena on repeat. Send help.”

“I may not be a mechanic, but I’m an expert at making strange noises come from my engine.”

“The only thing more terrifying than driving in the rain is driving in the rain with a windshield wiper that’s possessed.”

“I don’t need a convertible to feel the wind in my hair; I just open my windows and hope for the best.”

“Parallel parking is just nature’s way of testing my ability to curse.”

Funny Car Quotes

My car is like a magician—it makes money disappear at the gas station.

“If I had a dollar for every time my car made a weird noise, I could probably buy a new car.”

“I once got pulled over for driving too cautiously. The officer said it was suspicious.”

“My car has a ‘check engine’ light, but I prefer to think of it as a ‘don’t ask’ light.”

“I have a love-hate relationship with my car. I love it when it starts, and I hate it when it doesn’t.

“Driving with me is like a roller coaster ride—without the safety measures or the fun.”

“My car’s AC is so weak, I could cool down faster by sticking my head in a freezer.”

“I don’t need a fancy car; I just need one that will survive my singing in traffic.”

“Driving is a great way to test my multitasking skills—texting, eating, and yelling at other drivers simultaneously.”

“My car’s horn sounds like it’s auditioning for a heavy metal band.”

“If life is a highway, I must have taken the wrong exit a few times.”

“My car’s fuel efficiency is like a mythical creature—it’s often talked about but rarely seen.”

“I’m not a backseat driver; I’m a backseat commentator providing valuable insights and terror.”

“Driving with me is like entering a reality show where every red light is a dramatic cliffhanger.”

“My car’s brakes are so sensitive, I once stopped for my own shadow.”

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